My name is Nicole Benton, I am a Amira’s G-Mama. I first met Amira when she was 7 months old. I promised her from that day forward, I would always love her unconditionally and protect her from all harm, hurt and danger. Amira gave me a reason to want to love and live again. She filled a void in my heart that I thought would never heal. That day she came in my home my life changed forever! I felt complete, I felt restored and God had given me another chance. It was the best feeling in the world! My promise wasn’t fulfilled to Amira.

On September 5, 2017, Labor Day. We bbq’d, danced and had a great time, just having family time at the house. We went to Northpark mall and hung out as well. That night while watching Mickey Mouse and playing with each other, before we went to sleep, she finally said GMama. I was in awe! I was like say it again and again. She finally put the words together! I was so overjoyed! Tears were rolling down my eyes. She knew I was happy! She smiled and gave me a big hug and kiss. I didn’t know that would be the last time I heard those words coming from her mouth. I’m so glad I got it on video. I will cherish that for the rest of my life.

On September 6, 2017, I started my first day at a new job. I gave Amira a kiss before I got out of bed. Her mom called the night before to see her because she missed her. I told my son, Donja, to get in the bed with her because she was in and out of sleep and she’s so used to being right up under me in the bed. I left for work. My girls called me back. They said she is up looking for you and walking around the house crying. I said, “tell Donja to put her back in the bed.” I started my day at work. I received an alert on my phone, at 10:24, att digital life camera alert. It was Donja and Amira walking out the door with a rice krispy treat in her hand smiling.

I didn’t know that would be my last time seeing Donja holding his baby.

Next time I saw my baby she was in the hospital ER fighting for her life! I was escorted to her room by the Chaplain. I didn’t know what to do or say! My nerves were shot! My body was in shock! I couldn’t move or talk. I remember saying, G Mama is here baby wake up and that’s it. There were police, detectives, doctors and social workers everywhere. I had no idea of what was going on. I just knew I had to save my baby but I had no control and couldn’t do anything but wait and pray. This had to be the worst day of my life! I prayed and asked God, “Why?” I didn’t understand I was so confused. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone in this life period. Words couldn’t make me feel better. Praying didn’t make me feel better. Nothing made me feel better. Being with Amira is all I wanted and still want. I love her with everything in me and she knew that because I told her everyday all day. I always kissed her and hugged her very tight. She was so so so lovable and adorable.

The doctor asked me to come to the room and sit down. We have to make a decision. She stated, “Amira is suffering, she’s not going to make it. She had a fractured skull, broken bones and internal bleeding.” A decision had to be made. I looked around the room to see who I could lean on to help make the tough decision along with my son. I had to be there for him and Renee.

Amira died at 4:42am….. our lives are shattered! What do we do? How do we pick up the pieces? We watched them bathe her and clean her up. They made footprints for the family. We watched and cried still in disbelief. Donja held her lifeless body until he couldn’t hold her anymore. He loved on her, cried with her, kissed her and then he let her go. Never a day in our lives would we think our baby will be gone like that. We left the hospital still confused not knowing what happened to Amira. Who would do this to her and why? An in Kenner helpless baby…..

I had to bury my first granddaughter! I sat on the corner of my couch dazed and confused. Phone ringing off the wall. Our house was busy, people in and out showing their love not knowing what to say either. It didn’t make sense. Why did this happen? I had to plan my mother’s funeral three years prior and now I’m in the same position again. I was so numb. I was so worried about my son especially, and my 11 and 12 year old daughters. Everyone was so hurt. I began to write and try to get things together for Amira. I wanted her short life to be cherished. She loved Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Her favorite color is purple. She loves French fries and chicken. She loves Bruno Mars song, “I Like.” She loves to dance and just have fun. She brought so much joy to our lives. It was never a dull moment around here. Now the house is quiet and full of memories.

We all have options. We have choices to make as adults. He had both! Whatever Amira was doing and you as a man couldn’t handle it, pick up the phone make a phone call. Come get your kid. I can’t handle her. Don’t hurt her! Don’t let her cry! A 19 month old baby is helpless! “I CAN’T SPEAK” There is nothing she can possibly do to make a person that mad to want to hurt her! Accidentally or not. Intentionally or not.
People, women/men be careful with who you leave your children with! If I had known her mom had to go to work and this man was keeping our baby, I would have gone back to get her! My job was to protect her as her grandmother. It’s hard to protect her when she isn’t with me. I trust and believe that everyone has the same beliefs I do with my children and grandchildren.

Our young generation needs to be aware. They fall in love with these guys, they take their children around these guys, try to make them play daddy and feel relevant! When you have a child, your child comes first! No man or woman is worth my child’s life period! Be careful , be aware and make wise decisions when it comes to your children. Babies can’t speak! They do give you signs though. They are clingy, whiney and helpless. “PAY ATTENTION!” It’s not about you anymore! If you see small scratches, changes in your child’s behavior, just small things, “PAY ATTENTION.” Don’t lie to cover up for your man/woman! Who’s more important? Your child? Or your relationship? Talk to your family. Get a support system if you feel like you can’t do it alone. Speak up don’t shut up! This isn’t the blame game at all, this is about being aware and standing up for your children!

I didn’t know child abuse was so common until it happened on my own front door. People at the police department and news station made it seem so common. I was in awe and really shook.

According to Psychology Today:
Child abuse is widespread and can occur in any cultural, ethnic, or income group. Child abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual. It can also result from neglect. Abuse can result in serious injury to the child and possibly even death.

Physical abuse involves non-accidental harming of a child by, for example, burning, beating, or breaking bones. Verbal abuse involves harming a child by, for example, belittling them or threatening physical or sexual acts. Emotional trauma can result from several forms of abuse.

My job is to bring awareness to child abuse! I’m going to speak for Amira! Donja will speak for Amira! We will speak through our hurt and pain! I want my son to stand strong and show what a father should do in the midst of her tragic death. I can’t see or allow another baby to be taken from their family tragically because they didn’t know or wasn’t paying attention. The fight is on! Will you fight with us?

Amira I love you so much! I think about you every minute of the day. I promise you again, your 19 months on this earth will not be in vain! I miss you, you are forever in my heart and dreams. Thank you for being my angel.

G-Mama